When a great pair of tits is placed out on display
Don’t be shy. Take a look. That’s the point. It’s Okay.
If she went to great effort to show them that way.
Be polite and say ‘Nice tits! You just made my day!’

Titty women, when you dress, please remember your duty.
Keep the tight jeans and skirts and be proud of the booty.
But take time to display your fine boobs like a cutie.
Cause a good Titty Show is the hallmark of beauty.

When an asshole drops dead, there’s no need to be nice.
For to live like an asshole should come with a price.
But that’s not what’s expected, no matter their vice.
They’re remembered as saints when the truth should suffice.

Why should it be wrong to speak ill of the dead?
They did what they did and they said what they said.
There’s no need to pretend that it’s all in your head.
If an asshole is dead, let the good news be spread!

Let the people rejoice. There’s no reason to cry.
It’s completely deluded to weep for the guy.
When a destructive asshole lets out his last sigh
that’s a time for relief, not the time for a lie.

I’ve read that dogs eat other dog’s poop to remove their smell.
A nasty way to show they dominate.
But if you are the lesser dog, it’s prob’ly just as well.
In fact, it’s what my boss should imitate.

There’s a secret I know that I’m willing to share.
It saves money and leaves Earth less marred.
The most conscious bouquets, if you really do care
are recycled from local graveyards.

When the grieving ones leave, then the flowers are done.
So recycle – it’s good for the planet.
You can please two receivers instead of just one.
Fresh bouquets are of no use to granite!

If you want to be greener, pick up a small gift
like a pinwheel or a fluffy bear.
If your woman is green she’ll see virtue and thrift
and respond with her legs in the air.

And that would be three people touched by your action
without ever spending a dime.
It’s such a small act that brings green satisfaction
to buy them is almost a crime.

“Hey mang, you wanna see the biggest tits in Tijuana?”
That’s all I had to hear to step inside.
For two hours at “ChiChis” I was shocked by Christiana.
And for two hours at home that night I cried.

Those “biggest tits in town”
were on a beast that shook the ground.
She packed the biggest ass I’d ever seen.

She had mounds that draped her mounds
with a mustache thick and brown
and a gum wad snatch she shared with five Marines.

If I may be so blunt
this was Bigfoot with a cunt.
The kind of thing you just can’t help but watch.

She poured across the floors
with a dozen open sores
and flying insects darkening her crotch.

But the jarheads dined by rank
each one slurping up her stank
and a bar man gave them all a towel to share.

When Christiana had enough
she removed them from her muff
and her drippings gave the dance floor quite a glare.

She rotated like a tank
and looked right down at my crank
as she ambled in my general direction.

How my gut and stomach sank
as I braced to eat that skank -
my revulsion overcome by my erection.