The best way to tell other folks who you are
is to plaster your labels all over your car.
Your status and issues, or maybe your college.
Strut your stuff – show you’re special – woo the world with your knowledge.

Tell us all how you vote or of global unfairness.
It’s not you and your ego – it’s ‘raising awareness’.
Count your spawn – stick them on – the stick figures are cool.
Say “I’m Not of this World” – let us know you’re a Tool.

Be defined with a sticker – it’s easy that way.
We’ll know just how to treat you. You’ll know just what to say.
And remember the more that you say with your car
the more we will know just how special you are.

Russian woman on the net
I love a girl who begs.
And you’re a girl who can’t say ‘nyet’ -
you’re poor and have no legs.

I’ll carry you around all day.
You’ll always make me laugh.
And I’ll say in a loving way
you are my other half.

That goddamn dog ate shit again
and then he licked my face.
Oh god, there’s something wet stuck on my chin.

I smell his shit when I breathe in
and on my lips the taste.
Owned by my dog, it’s Shit Lips for the win!

Oh where is that beach where the yuppies all go?
I’m sure that you’ve seen it, so maybe you’ll know.
It’s the one with no sun glare where wind never blows.
And they lounge looking casual seated in rows.

It’s a beach full of yuppies in white shirts and jeans.
They go shoeless, it’s folksy, and it downplays their means.
Where do they all go to take pics by the sea?
And why do they all send the same shots to me?

Oh you eat there, you know it, don’t start with a lie.
They’ve got killer grand slams and some pretty good pie.
Though the people inside are quite often suspicious,
you can’t help but love Denny’s – it’s fucking delicious.

Try a sampler with cheese sticks, get the tin with the shake.
The Super Bird sandwich is good when you’re baked.
If you have a weak heart, this food might be malicious.
But it’s Denny’s, so it’s worth it, cause it’s fucking delicious.

Rest a bit with some coffee then time to reload.
Ask for extra hot fudge on a Brownie a la Mode.
Nevermind what it’s made of – It’s hardly nutritious.
Denny’s always stays open and it’s fucking delicious.

Now it’s true that the night crowd can be quite bizarre.
You can be raped or mugged on the way to your car.
And the management’s been somewhat racist and vicious.
But the food served at Denny’s is fucking delicious.