Brother Momus » Sex Poems

Slut

Brother Momus — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:34:25 +0000

To use the term ’slut’ if you are an adult
doesn’t mean what you think when you say it.
When the slut card is played as form of insult,
it exposes the people who play it.

When a girl says another girl is ’such a slut’
that doesn’t mean lots of guys ball her.
It’s a relative term, a resentment somewhat,
that the girl has more sex than the caller.

When a guy calls a girl a slut you can see
that it doesn’t mean she’s had ‘too many’.
If a guy thinks a girl has had more sex than he
she’s a slut if she wont give him any.

Don’t Steal Panties

Brother Momus — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 08:19:37 +0000

Some men collect numbers. Some men collect cars.
Some men collect STDs prowling in bars.
But other nice men have much cleaner desires.
They collect women’s panties from laundromat dryers.

Now this makes women angry. They think it’s a crime.
But both parties have needs, so it’s compromise time.
If you snatch women’s panties, please do what I tell you.
Leave twenty per pair – that’s a fair market value.

Victoria’s Secret costs four bucks a pair.
That’s a high value add for some panties you wear.
So show some compassion, girls. Stop all your squealing.
It’s a compliment that you have panties worth stealing.

Then everyone’s happy – the problem is solved.
There’s no need anymore to get police involved.
Leave your panties to tumble, there’s no one to catch.
And return to the profits you’ve earned with your snatch.

Please Trim That Pussy Hair, Dear

Brother Momus — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:54:24 +0000

Please trim that pussy hair, dear.
It’s a rhyme, but I’m being sincere.
Leave a strip or shave bald
as it is you look mauled.
And when taming that beast, hit the rear.

Dick Size Lies

Brother Momus — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:55:48 +0000

To lie about dick size
is common but dumb.
If she goes for it, what will you give her?

She won’t like the surprise
when you whip out a thumb.
It’s much better to over-deliver.

Split it Right

Brother Momus — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:34:47 +0000

Women who can do the splits
don’t need nice eyes or great big tits.
It’s always good fun to spend time with a lady
who’s legs can be held at a constant one-eighty.

But a caveat should be made quite clear
to always split from front to rear.
The side to side way pulls the pussy apart.
While the front to back method preserves her tight tart.